Have you ever had to prove yourself to someone who barely knew you?
I wonder how often I’ve made someone else feel that way.
In the darts scene in Ted Lasso, Rupert, the arrogant club owner, is sure he can beat Ted. He never thinks to ask how much Ted has played.
Ted would have told him: every Sunday with his father, from the age of 10 until he was 16.
But Rupert has already decided who he’s dealing with. Ted talks about how often people have underestimated him, and how few were curious enough to get to know him. He recalls a quote:
“Be curious, not judgmental.”
We do this at work more than we realise
A colleague asks a basic question, and we start doubting their ability. Someone takes an unfamiliar career path, and we look for the expected job title before asking what they’ve actually done.
Or someone is quiet in meetings. We get used to hearing from the same few people and gradually stop asking for their input. Eventually, their silence feels like confirmation that they have little to contribute.
That last one bothers me. We stop giving someone opportunities, then treat their lack of contribution as proof that we were right. From their side, it might look very different: nobody ever asks.
I’ve been on both sides of this. I’ve wanted people to look beyond their first impression of me, while being too quick to trust my own impression of someone else.
I still catch myself doing it. I’m trying to ask more before making up my mind.
Being underestimated is frustrating enough. I’d hate to realise I’d made someone spend months proving something I could have learned in a conversation.
I’d rather ask one more question than become someone else’s Rupert.
“Barbecue sauce!”
Originally published on LinkedIn on 16 October 2026. Adapted here with a new title and illustration.